Strange Bedfellows
by Lint
Summary: The bedroom scene, four ways it could have gone. Mr. Ferguson is Ill Today-Ep Tag.


(John)

It's like something out of a teen movie, the way she comes in.

Those tiny little shorts, that tiny little top with the hint of red underneath causing something to twitch uncomfortably in an uncomfortable place.

His role the virginal loser hero, watching this bizarre fantasy unfold from his perch on the oh so grown-up erector set bed.

"Are you busy?" she asks.

Busy, he knows, is a term with a different definition to the both of them. Busy to her, he knows, is function and purpose, prerogatives and mission statements. Busy to him could very well be just lying on the bed, thinking about his girlfriend. Busier now trying not to think about his killer robot (non) sister, walking right into his room, showing so much skin that isn't skin.

"No," he answers, watching her close the door. "Did you change?"

"It's hot out," she defends.

_It's suddenly hot in…_

He drops the thought from his mind before it turns into further trouble, rationality somehow making its way back to the forefront. She's a robot, she doesn't feel anything.

"Since when do you feel heat?"

It's almost rhetorical, not really expecting an actual answer, let alone what she does as she's answering, laying right down next to him, propping herself so very, very close.

"I feel heat."

Inching closer, eyes catching his in a way that suddenly he feels heat too, the virginal loser hero's hot (not) sister sidling up in a way that is just past PG-13.

Heart skipping a beat, play it cool loser, play it off.

"Are you hoping that Riley is going to see us in bed together and be totally scarred for life or something?"

_Not so cool_.

But of course she doesn't get the jest, the sly barb that she's doing this purposely and he knows it. No, it's just a cut and dry question to her, one she answers as such.

"No," she answers. "I watched Riley leave until I couldn't see her anymore."

She's not jealous, he tells himself. No possibility of that. But there is something in those blank eyes, in that stare that twists a place inside of him so much he almost wants to turn on his side to hide it.

"And then you and mom high-fived."

_Lame. _

"You bring danger into Riley's life."

Big, bright eyes on him, sincerity floating in line with a monotone voice.

Pot calling the kettle black, he thinks, almost cracks a smile, but doesn't.

"I know that," he says instead, sarcasm another thing lost on her. "I'm not stupid."

Not completely, he thinks. Only when I let myself feel feelings for a girl who is real.

Her eyes tearing through him.

…And one who isn't.

"But sometimes you do stupid things."

Shock shooting down his spine. Can she read his mind?

"It would help me to understand why."

Mind blank for a fraction of a second, defense grasping at straws, she's so close it makes him edgy, the virginal loser hero's libido going into overdrive.

"Humans do stupid things."

_True_.

His end of this interaction a clear case in point.

"So don't worry about it," he goes on. "And be happy you're a machine."

_Did he really just say that?_

_Loser. Dork. Idiot_.

"I'm a machine," she replies. "I can't be happy."

_Ouch. _

"But I understand more than you think."

_Oh?_

"So you understand I'm going to keep seeing Riley even if everyone thinks it's a bad idea?"

Not jealous, he thinks. Eyes boring into him like that. She's not jealous.

"I understand that's it a bad idea."

_Of course she does_.

"And…"

_And?_

"I understand that being John Connor can be lonely."

_This is new. _

"Oh yeah? How do you understand that?"

_Pay attention now John_.

"You and I talk about it a lot."

_Because this is brand spanking new_.

"We do?"

He feels as if he should know just how well they know each other in the future, small bit of anger that he doesn't.

"We do," she says firmly. "We will."

Still looking at him with those eyes, how the hell does she do that? The twisting inside turns into a knot. He doesn't know how to deal with this. The virginal loser hero is in way over his head.

"I ne… I need to get some sleep."

Thankfully she gets the hint.

_Wait… Was that a sigh?_

She sits up, looks down at him, strategically not the best place to be.

_Can she see?_

"And Riley?"

_No… _

_She sees nothing_.

"I know," he says, breath hitching slightly. "I know."

She slides off the bed and makes her way to the door.

Don't look back, he thinks. Please don't look back.

Hand on the knob; she does turn her head to him.

The virginal loser hero wants to crawl under a rock and never come out.

(Cameron)

_New mission objective: Stop John from seeing Riley. _

She walks down the hallway, boots echoing off the hardwood floor.

_Ten feet from destination, five feet, destination reached. _

_Subject John Connor: adolescent male, aged sixteen years, highly responsive to female appearance. Suggestion: discard shirt._

She takes over the shirt and casually tosses it on the floor.

_Door is closed, suggestion: knock_.

She knocks on the door but doesn't wait for him to answer before opening.

_Initial scan: room temperature eighty-two degrees, noise level: twenty decibels, body heat signatures: male, John Connor, ninety-eight degrees. Threat level: minimal. Activity: none. _

"Are you busy?"

"No."

_Possibility of conversation being overheard: 98%. Solution: close door. _

"Did you change?"

_John Connor has noticed removed garment, requires explanation. Current temperature: eighty-two degrees. Appropriate response: It's hot out. _

"It's hot out."

_Suggestion for maximum effectiveness of conversation: close proximity, lay on bed. _

"Since when do you feel heat?"

_Sensory receptors online, functioning at one-hundred percent. _

_Appropriate response: I feel heat. _

"I feel heat."

_Proximity accomplished. John Connor's heart rate has excelled by ten beats per minute_.

"Are you hoping Riley is going to see us in bed together and be totally scarred for life or something?"

_Riley has vacated the premises ten minutes and thirty-three seconds ago. Possibility of her witnessing conversation: 0%. _

_Appropriate response: No. _

"No. I watched Riley leave until I couldn't see her anymore."

"And then you and mom high-fived."

_Voice inflection detected: sarcasm. Pursue subject derivative? Yes/No?_

_No. _

_Maintain mission objective. Suggestion: Make full eye contact. _

She turns her head to him.

"You bring danger into Riley's life."

"I know that. I'm not stupid."

_True. John Connor's IQ is well above average. Variable: John is prone to emotional outbursts, allows himself to be guided by said emotions. Reasons: unknown. _

"But sometimes you do stupid things. It would help me to understand why."

"Humans do stupid things. So don't worry about it and be happy you're a machine."

_Statement suffers from logistical flaws. Machines cannot be happy. _

_Appropriate response: I can't be happy_.

"I'm a machine. I can't be happy."

_Subject variant: Knowledge of John Connor, past and present, is extensive. Understanding of subject's motives and emotions is clear. _

_Appropriate response: I understand. _

"But I understand more than you think."

"So you understand that I'm going to keep seeing Riley even if everyone thinks it's a bad idea?"

_Possible scenarios: John and Riley continue relationship. John is distracted from prime mission: stopping Skynet. Failure to eliminate threat and continue with prerogatives results in Judgment Day._

"I understand it's a bad idea."

_Suggestion: pause for dramatic affect. _

"And… I understand that being John Connor can be lonely."

"Oh yeah? How do you understand that?"

_Accessing memory files: June 29__th__, 2027. Mission to infiltrate ammunition factory in East Los Angeles, staked out for sixteen hours before movement, number of conversation held with John Connor: forty-five. Average length of conversation: twenty-six minutes. Subject range: growing up, his mother, his father, learning Spanish, training, chess, Skynet, Judgement day, a girl: Allison Young. _

_Appropriate response: We talk_.

"You and I talk about it a lot."

_John Connor's heart rate has increased again. _

"We do?"

"We do. We will."

"I ne…"

_John Connor's breathing has become erratic. _

"I need to get some sleep."

_Voice inflection: hitched. He is lying. Pursue false statement? Yes/No? _

_No_.

_Suggestion: exhale loudly for dramatic affect. _

She sits up, but does not leave the bed, instead turns down to look at him.

"And Riley?"

"I know."

_Heart rate: Normal. Breathing: Normal. Voice inflection: level. _

_He is telling the truth. _

_Objective completed_.

(John)

A knock on the door, probably Mom with another mouthful about 'that girl' because sometimes she refuses to say her name. No wait for an answer before it opens, Cameron, unexpected but not surprising.

"Are you busy?"

Does thinking about a girl everyone thinks you're an idiot for liking constitute as busy? Think of a lie, something, to get her out of here. It's almost time to- no, wait. See what she wants.

"No."

Watch her close the door-decidedly less clothing than earlier-something is up.

"Did you change?"

"It's hot out."

Something is definitely up. Walking in here like that, looking like that.

"Since when do you feel heat?"

"I feel heat."

Chess game-lying on the bed, making me move over to make room for her. What the hell is she doing? Some weird vain attempt at getting caught by Riley in a compromising position?

Push that button: "Are you hoping Riley is going to see us in bed together and be totally scarred for the rest of her life or something?"

"No, I watched Riley leave until I couldn't see her anymore."

Right, smiling all the way, her and Mom both. No normal life for John Connor right? Even if it's just for now, even if I know better, can't be happy for one full minute.

"And then you and Mom high-fived."

Head turned toward me-eyes big, wide, and brown watched out of the corner of mine, motive for this whole act coming out in a monotone punch.

"You bring danger into Riley's life."

Says it like it's not obvious, like I don't know.

"I know that. I'm not stupid."

Knocking down pawns: "But sometimes you do stupid things. It would help me to understand why."

How to make a machine understand-can't. Try.

"Humans do stupid things. So don't worry and be happy you're a machine."

Rook takes bishop: "I'm a machine. I can't be happy. But, I understand more than you think."

Instinct-she's not lying, she can if she chooses, but this time I doubt it.

Push again: "So you understand that I'm going to keep seeing Riley even if everyone thinks it's a bad idea?"

Knight takes rook: "I understand it's a bad idea. And…"

Instinct-she's about to drop something heavy.

Check: "I understand that being John Connor can be lonely."

Not lying again, but there's still something not one-hundred percent here. Dig.

"Oh yeah? How do you understand that?"

Check: "You and I talk about it a lot."

Heavy like a Mack truck on my head, left swaying and dizzy.

"We do?"

Check: "We do."

Checkmate: "We will."

Instinct-Something is going to happen if she doesn't leave. Get her out of here. NOW.

"I ne…"

Damn it don't trip over yourself, GET HER OUT.

"I need to get some sleep."

Instinct-she's frustrated. Who knew robots could sigh?

Sitting up over me like that, could snap my neck like a twig if she wanted.

"And Riley?"

GO.

"I know… I know."

Watch her leave.

Instinct-wait five minutes, get the hell out of here.

(Cameron)

_The thing about John is, once he sets his mind to something, it takes a whole hell of a lot to try and change it. But, I guess if it's anyone in this house that's going to do it, it's you. So, show a little skin maybe, loose the shirt, he's young here it will probably get his attention._

"Are you busy?"

_Of course he isn't busy, look at him. He's just lying there, probably thinking about her as we speak. _

"No. Did you change?"

_See? What did I tell you? He's just a boy, and boys notice this kind of thing. Still, think of something to say_.

"It's hot out."

_Okay, I guess that's good enough_.

"Since when do you feel heat?"

_He's got you there robot girl, but it doesn't matter, you want to make a difference? Make him uncomfortable. John was always more willing to listen when you caught him off guard, like he was impressed you could get him that way. Maybe it was just me… _

_Or maybe it's just you. _

"I feel heat."

_See? Look at him; you can practically feel his heart jumping out of his chest. _

"Are you hoping Riley is going to see us in bed together and be scarred for life or something?"

_Never understood his thing for blondes, so don't ask me. Anyway, sarcasm was always his easiest defense. Nice to see he never grew out of it. _

"No. I watched Riley leave until I couldn't see her anymore."

"And then you and Mom high-fived."

_See? Such a smartass. Down to business, hit him with something obvious_.

"You bring danger into Riley's life."

"I know that. I'm not stupid."

_No, he isn't. But a lot of times he does incredibly stupid things when he thinks he's right. __Especially__ when he thinks he's right. _

"But sometimes you do stupid things. It would help me to understand why."

_There's your first mistake robot girl, trying to understand John Connor is a waste of time. Many people have attempted it, and no one, not even me, has got a clue_.

"Humans do stupid things. So, don't worry about it and be happy you're a machine."

_Careful now, those defenses are creeping out, and there isn't a damn thing either one of us is going to be able to do about it once they're up_.

"I'm a machine. I can't be happy."

_Good. That's good. Now open up a little and he might follow._

"But, I understand more than you think."

"You understand that I'm going to keep seeing Riley even if everyone thinks it's a bad idea?"

_This is true. What did I tell you? He's going to do whatever he wants when he thinks it's right. Quick, knock him off guard_.

"I understand it's a bad idea. And…"

_Come on, that's it. _

"I understand that being John Connor can be lonely."

_Got that right robot girl. First time I met him I don't think I've ever seen a more lonely man_.

"Oh yeah? How do you understand that?"

_Okay, he's creeping again let's go in for the kill_.

"You and I talk about it a lot."

_See? Look at that. He's scrambling now_.

"We do?"

_You've got him, come on, come on. _

"We do. We will."

_Bingo, flat on his face. _

"I ne… I need to get some sleep."

_Oh great… Look don't be frustrated, this is just how he is. We can't push him anymore so let's just get out while we're ahead, oka_y?

"And Riley?"

_Careful!_

"I know… I know."

_Let's go! He's not going to say anything else and pushing him is only going to make it worse. Close the door, don't forget your shirt. _

"Allison?"

_Yeah?_

"Thank you for explaining."


End file.
